Melt My Heart Page 11

  Just do it. Stop being the chicken everyone thinks you are.

  I take a step forward and mentally cheer.

  Only about ten more steps, then my butt will be planted in the seat. I won’t have any other choice but to follow through.

  “Are you gonna go or what?” A girl in a bright pink snowsuit asks.

  “Y-y-yeah.” Three steps left. The group in front of me gets swooped up into the air and my stomach flips.

  The guy manning the lifts raises an eyebrow and waves me forward. He’s been watching me this whole time, my doubt reflected in his eyes.

  I’m next.

  Now or never.

  Seize the day.

  YOLO.

  All the other corny sayings people use as an excuse to do crazy stuff.

  Don’t be a coward for once in your life.

  I close the distance, clenching my fists so tightly around the poles, the muscles in my forearms ache.

  I can do this.

  Holding my breath, I brace myself. In the next moment I’m sitting as the ground is dropping out from underneath me. A wave of dizziness makes me reach for the safety bar and lean backward until I can no longer see my legs swinging in the air. Heights and I are tangled in a hate-hate relationship. Bridges. The second story of the mall. One peek and the room is spinning, and this…this is insane. Everyone else makes it look so easy. Effortless. But this is the simplest part. I have to get off somehow and move out of the way before the chair behind me comes around.

  What I should be doing is marveling at the beautiful landscape that gets clearer the higher I go. The problem is, the higher part. When there isn’t solid ground beneath me, there is no way I can concentrate.

  For at least the hundredth time today, I wish Eva were here. She would know what to say and do. Who am I kidding? She would march right up the mountain and drag Cole down for me.

  Well, she normally would. I have no clue how she will react when she finds out about this. If it ends badly, will she comfort me? If it ends the way I’m praying, will she be happy? I can’t help but worry about how my next move might change the face of our friendship forever.

  God, this ride up feels like an eternity. I’m already starting to second-guess myself, and it hasn’t been five minutes.

  Yup. This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever done. What if Cole is down there looking for me?

  Why didn’t I listen to my brain when it was screaming no?

  I don’t get another chance to think about how dumb I am because when I look up, I’m almost at the landing point. There’s no way I’ll to do this gracefully, so I clutch my poles in a fist and wrap the other around the rail, ready to push off in the two seconds before the chair circles around again.

  At the last minute, I remember the bar is pulled down, and I shove it up in a jerky movement. While I’m busy doing that, I forget to lift the front of my skis. They catch on the snow, and I face-plant as the lift glides above my head.

  Laugher echoes around me as I attempt to stand, only to slip and slam down on my tailbone. With no other choice, I scoot out of the way, crab style, so the people behind me can get off. They end up doing it with smug expressions and far more grace than I will ever possess.

  When the coast is clear, I use my poles to stand and make sure my skis are in the pizza formation Cole described a few days ago. By some miracle, I don’t roll right off the mountain and manage to slide a few more feet out of the way.

  Step one complete.

  I take a minute to savor the sun on my face as the wind whips the free pieces of my hair. Any other day I would be in heaven with this view. Nothing could beat it. Today though there’s a whole lot of hurt—physical and emotional—lying in front of me as I try to make my way back down.

  My ankle sprain will pale in comparison to the bruises I’ll have later if my not-so-graceful exit from the lift is any indication.

  After shaking out my limbs and taking a deep breath, I push off, keeping my skis a little wonky so I don’t go forward full-steam. So far, I’m still standing. That in itself is a miracle. Then again, I’m still on the semiflat part. The second the mountain slopes, I’ll end up butt-over-head.

  I try to focus on the different forms of the people flying by as I make my slow descent. It’s impossible, though. All I can make out is clothing color up close, and tiny specs of the people lower down.

  Again…why was this a good idea?

  I’m so busy staring at all the people, I forget about my skis. The left one shifts to the side, and the next thing I know, I’m almost doing the splits. Not wanting to tear something or worse, I let momentum take me down and end up on my back with one leg twisted behind my butt.

  Second fall. Only a thousand more to go.

  Could I take these stupid things off and walk down the mountain? Man, I should have researched that before I came up here unprepared.

  Someone flies by way too close to my head. I groan, sitting up as I straighten my leg. See, falling is the easy part. Getting back up on these slippery things is the most difficult thing on the planet. In my frazzled state, I can’t remember how Cole explained it, so I try to stand…and fall right back down on my tush.

  Awesome.

  I try three more times to get up, all unsuccessful. Days pass. Seasons change. Fifty people ski by me, making it look so easy. At this point, Cole is probably on the ground. Or at home. Or married with three kids.

  So, I do what any reasonable person would do and rip my skis right off. I’d rather try and walk down than risk a broken bone.

  Without the threat of sliding right off the mountain, some of my nerves settle, and I’m able to marvel in the beauty of being up this high. In the distance, I can even make out the high-rises of the city, sticking up into the sky. The sun is peeking out from behind clouds, illuminating the snow and making it sparkle like a thousand tiny diamonds. This right here is the reason I never want to move out of Utah. It’s beautiful even if the whole skiing thing isn’t my scene.

  Snow crunches under my boots as I take extra effort not to tweak my ankle again. Even though I can put full weight on it now, it’s still achy. All it will take is one bad step to send me to the ground.

  Now, if only I could find Cole, so this all can be over and I can finish the day by the warm snuggly fire. Without the immediate threat of bodily harm.

  Another person whizzes by me, and at the last second, they turn, smacking me in the knee with the end of their pole. I go down hard, hissing as pain shoots up my leg.

  Cursed. I’m cursed.

  Or maybe I’m not cursed, but the universe is trying to stop me from making a huge mistake when it comes to Cole.

  “Sammy!” A voice calls from behind me. A second later, snow poofs up around me as the person stops by my side.

  Shielding my eyes, I peer up…and right into the face of the person I’ve gone through all this trouble for.

  I see you Universe. You got a sick sense of humor.

  “Hey,” I say, going for nonchalant as I dust snow off my shoulders.

  “Sammy, what are you doing up here besides trying to get yourself killed?”

  “Funny you ask.” I stand, testing weight on my leg and find the pain has dulled. “I came by to talk to you, twice, and both times I got friend-blocked by Ian. So, I figured if you were going to avoid me, I would come find you where there aren’t any doors to slam in my face.”

  Cole reaches out and grips my arm, dragging me to the side and out of the main path. “Are you insane? You can’t even stay upright on a bunny hill.”

  “I know.” I hold up my two skis before tossing them to the side and leaving him with my best glare. “If you weren’t avoiding me, I coulda evaded this whole mess.”

  Cole sighs and lifts his goggles so I can see his eyes. “I wasn’t avoiding you.”

  I scoff. We both know that’s a lie.

  “Okay. I was.” He holds his hands up in surrender. “But I was embarrassed. What happened last night…I don’t know what got into me.
”

  “I do. You were trying to protect me. For good reasons too. You were right. All those times you tried to warn me…”

  A crease forms between his eyebrows. “Did he do something?” There’s a substantial amount of anger lacing his words that would almost be sweet in normal circumstances. “If he touched—”

  “Nothing happened. Let’s just say he showed his true colors, so I kicked him to the curb.”

  “Oh.” The crease is still there, marring his handsome face as he rolls his bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger. “Is that what you came all the way up here to tell me?”

  Right. Right. I had a speech prepared. For the life of me, I can’t remember a single word now.

  Guess I’m winging it.

  “No. I had to find you because I talked to Ian this morning—”

  “You talked to Ian?” Cole’s eyes widen as he takes a clunky step backward on his skis.

  How is he still standing on those?

  That’s a question for another time. Focus.

  “Yeah. He mostly told me to leave you alone, which, clearly, I listened to.” I stretch out my arms wide, motioning to our surroundings. Some of Cole’s tension dissipates as he smirks, urging me to continue. “He mentioned that there might be an ulterior reason to hate Hudson. Besides the fact that he’s a D-bag.”

  Cole falls silent, his hands clenching around the poles as he stares at me. Not the response I hoped for. I kinda figured I would get either laughter or outright denial, but the longer he just stares, the more I realize this is a terrible idea.

  Mr. Peacekeeper isn’t going to come right out and break my heart.

  After a pause so long I want to die, Cole sighs. “He wasn’t supposed to say anything.”

  A few people fly by us, and Cole reaches out to wrap a protective arm around my back. It works too because all of a sudden, I’m not so scared to be up here. Or to pour my feelings out at his feet.

  “Were you jealous?”

  “Of course I was. I am. I don’t like seeing you with other guys.”

  “Why?”

  His throat bobs as he swallows. Once. Twice. Three times. He opens his mouth, and nothing comes out. Frustration flicker over his features. He wants to say something, but for the very first time in his life, he’s at a loss for words.

  I follow his lead, and for the first time in my life, I choose to be bold.

  “I’m going out on a crazy, stupid limb here, but did you not like seeing me with him because…you want to be with me?” His lower lip trembles. Not the best response, but I push on. These words need to get out of me. They’ve spent too long locked up. “Because there hasn’t been a single day in the past few years that I haven’t thought about being with you. You’re one of my best friends. This might ruin everything, but—”

  Cole’s lips land on mine. We both freeze, stunned by what’s happening. His posture is crazy tense. I have a hunch he didn’t mean to react this way, but I’m not letting him regret it.

  My hands wrap around his neck, and I tug him forward until our chests are pressed together. His lips are cold and chapped from the many hours on the slope, but I don’t care. Fire ignites in my veins as his mouth moves against mine. Nothing has ever felt as right as this. Us. The way we seem to be saying everything we need to without words. The way his free hand seems to be memorizing the feel of my body beneath him.

  He tosses his poles to the side and wraps both arms around my lower back, pinning me to him as his tongue works between my parted lips. Then I’m gone, lost in sensation and how we seem to fit together perfectly.

  All too soon, he pulls away, putting a few inches between our faces. Together, we’re breathing hard, and clouds of steam rise over our heads.

  Holy crap that was amazing.

  Mind-blowing.

  Life-changing.

  The crease has deepened between his eyebrows like a tiny, wrinkly messenger of doom. His jaw is tense, and if all our years of friendship tell me anything, he’s about to apologize and say the kiss was a mistake.

  “That was…” he says in a low, husky voice and shakes his head, cupping my cheek with his glove-clad hand. “I’ve wanted to do that for a while.”

  Now it’s my turn to go mute. My lips part, but nothing comes out. I was prepared for rejection, not whatever the heck is going on.

  Seriously. I must be in bed dreaming.

  Cole leans down and plants a soft kiss on my cheek, sending those darn butterflies in my tummy into a frenzy. “I’m crazy.” Kiss. This time on my other cheek. “Stupid.” Kiss. “Terrifyingly.” Kiss. “In love with you.” His cups both of my cheeks and holds my gaze. “And I’ve wanted to tell you more times than I can count, but always lost my nerve. I never thought you would see me as something other than your annoying, yet extremely handsome best friend.”

  I smack his chest and get a chuckle in return.

  “It’s okay. You can admit how handsome I am later.” He glides his lips across mine. “So…” A flicker of doubt enters his eyes. “Does this mean…you love me too?”

  I swallow hard then nod. “If that’s what this giddy, confusing, insane feeling is. Then, yes. I think I have been for a while. It explains why I’m even up on this mountain right now.”

  “And this kiss, it beat the one under the stars you were drooling over?

  I cock my head to the side, confused by his sudden switch in topic. “Huh?”

  “In that mushy book.”

  “Oh,” I say on a laugh. Only Cole would go there right now in the middle of a heart-to-heart. “Yeah. It blew that kiss out of the water.”

  “Good.” He rests his forehead on mine. “Glad to hear I have a leg up on your book boyfriends.”

  He has more than a leg-up, but I don’t want it to go to his head. It’s big enough already.

  “So, I don’t resemble a Saint Bernard?”

  “I don’t know…” I bite my lip, holding my laughter when his face falls. He doesn’t for the record, but sometimes he needs an ego check. “I might need to give it another try to get a concrete answer.”

  “Oh, yeah?”

  “Maybe a couple more. For reference p—”

  He cuts me off with another kiss, setting my brain on fire and sending a delicious warmth throughout my entire body.

  Whistles and catcalls make their way to my ears, but nothing short of rolling off the side of this cliff will break me away from Cole.

  I finally have what I’ve always wanted and I have no plans on letting go anytime soon.

  “Are you ready for this?” Cole asks as we walk back to the lodge.

  He skipped out on the slopes today. Can’t say I’m mad about that choice. The bus leaves in a few hours, so we’ve spent the morning hiking and taking the tram to snap some gorgeous photos of the scenery for Eva. And, okay, one or two of us together.

  When I woke up this morning, I thought for sure yesterday was a vivid dream. But nope. I got the guy. I just wish I had more time to celebrate.

  The weight of his question sits heavy in my stomach. He’s referring to the dreaded conversation awaiting us when we get home. It can go either way, but the idea of her outright refusing to accept the new us or the possible fallout it would create has my nerves in knots.

  Cole pulls me close when we round the last corner and the line of buses come into view. “It will be fine. Eva will be happy because we’re happy.”

  I tilt my chin up so I can focus on his face. “Will she? We both know she might not like her two best friends becoming a couple. That automatically makes her the third wheel in every situation.”

  He runs his fingertips over my cheekbone, and I fight hard to keep my train of thought on track and not purr like a milk-drunk kitten. I’ll never get used to the fact that I can be close to him—touch him—whenever I want.

  “It’s true, it might be awkward at first, but she’d never try to come between us. She’s going to California in a few months. Don’t you think she’ll be relieved to know you and I w
ill be okay without her?”

  “Part of me wonders if she’ll be content with the idea of us here all sad.” I laugh, and Cole shakes his head.

  “You might be right about that. But I promise, she’ll be happy for us.” He makes an X over his heart, making me smile. “So, shake off those nerves because I want to enjoy the last of our time up here with you so I can fill my brain with that and not images of you with that tool.” Cole bends forward and brushes his lips against mine, sending sparks of electricity through my limbs.

  Yeah, no one kisses quite like Cole. Whatever I thought about all the other guys who I wasted time with evaporated the second Cole showed me what a real kiss is.

  “Say it ain’t so,” a voice calls from behind me.

  Cole leans away so he can see over my shoulder. When he makes out who it is, his face breaks out into a blinding smile.

  “You finally manned up and got the girl.” the person continues.

  “Oh, I got the girl all right.” Cole plants a soft kiss on the top of my head as I turn around.

  Dread replaces all the good feelings I had ten seconds ago when I realize Ian is smiling at us. That smile is never good. “What do you want, Ian?”

  His smile widens, giving us a glimpse of every single one of his teeth. “This—” he gestures to us. “—is all I ever wanted for my friend.”

  I glance up at Cole, who’s shaking his head. “What’s he talking about?” I ask.

  “Ian’s been trying for a while to get us together. Pretty much since the day he realized I had a thing for you.”

  Wait…what?

  My head might explode. I’ve been under the impression that Cole only realized his feelings for me when he saw me with Hudson. Now…is he saying he’s had a thing for me for much longer?

  “Freshman homecoming.” Ian shakes his head on a laugh. “You looked like someone kicked your puppy when she was dancing with that band geek.”