Melt My Heart Page 4

  He shrugs and glances away. “Because it’s easier.”

  “Glad to know where I rank in your life.” I snap the speaker into place on my ear as a rush of anger rolls up from my toes to slam me in the gut.

  This is how it’s always been. Cole is too concerned with pleasing everyone to stand up for himself or others. He turns everything into a joke—his way of deflating the situation. Sure, it’s made him Mr. Popular, but at some point, I hope he snaps out of it. And okay, a small part of me hopes that deep down, he cares enough about me to put me first. Not that he doesn’t care about me in certain ways. Eva and Cole are family. Which is the problem. I’ve never had a sibling, but I’m assuming this is how a brother would handle a situation.

  But, I’m sick of being seen as his sister.

  The bus lurches forward, and I snuggle into my jacket, letting the hood flop over my face to conceal my eyes. The coffee did jack. So, I’m excited about a nice forty-five-minute nap as the bus makes its way up the mountain.

  Cole has other plans.

  His head drops onto my shoulder as he shoves the headphones off my head. “I’ll talk to Ian.”

  I glare his way, but he’s working his ridiculous puppy-dog eyes. All big and brown and glossed with fake tears. Just like he plans, just like every other time, I crumble, and all my anger dissipates.

  Why can’t I ever stay mad at him?

  “Fine. You talk to him, and if he messes with me again, I kick him in the balls. And not the kind he likes to handle on the field.”

  Cole winces. “Deal.” We settle into our seats, ignoring the ruckus around us from kids who are way too alert for this hour. “Eva might be rubbing off on you.”

  One can only hope. “Maybe I’m sick of being the quiet, meek bookworm.”

  “You’re not quiet or meek. I don’t know why you put on that front when you’re around other people.”

  I shrug, bouncing his head. “Much like your good-guy routine, it makes life easier.”

  “One of these days we’ll shock the hell out of people by changing it up.”

  “Yeah. Maybe.” Even I don’t believe my words. I am who I am.

  But what if I wasn’t? What if I could be bold like Eva or witty and outgoing like Cole? What if for one weekend I wasn’t boring Sammy Phillips?

  “All right, make sure you have all your luggage. The busses won’t be returning until Wednesday, so if you forget something, you’re out of luck until we get back,” Mrs. Clark shouts from somewhere in the dense crowd.

  “The front desk will have your room assignments—two people to a room. No trading,” Mr. Holt adds from the steps of the bus that Cole and I exited a few minutes prior.

  I take a deep breath, enjoying the fresh, crisp air. The sun has almost made its appearance, making it colder than it will be in the afternoon. But nothing comes close to winter on the mountains. I may not enjoy skiing, but I’ve spent my share of time up here with my family. A flicker of hope or something resembling excitement sparks in my chest.

  When I open my eyes, Mr. Holt’s words click and the previous flicker is snuffed out. “Crap. What if I’m stuck with one of the cheerleaders? They’ll probably kick me out of the room so they can party or bone.”

  Cole shoulders my bag, leaving my patchwork purse on the ground at my feet. “Do you think he’s that mean?”

  “Could have been random assignments.”

  “They aren’t stupid enough to cause that level of pandemonium.”

  I chew on my lip, contemplating the benefit of jumping on the bus and asking them to drive me home. I could always stay at Eva’s until Wednesday. Sure, it might require hiding in the closet so her parents don’t find out, but it might be a better alternative to this torture.

  “It’ll be fine. You’re only in there to sleep. The rest of the time we’ll be on the mountain.”

  I shoot him my best yeah, sure look, but as usual it doesn’t faze him. Then I remember the pep talk I gave myself on the ride. This weekend will be an experiment. What better time to step outside of my shell than with the end of senior year closing in? I don’t want to spend four years at a university saddled with the same boring label.

  “You’re right.”

  “Of course, I am.” He nudges me with his shoulder, and together we shuffle into the lobby with everyone else who took their sweet time getting off the bus.

  Right away, I spot the faces of the frazzled front desk employees. No clue why they continue to let the senior classes of Jordan High take over the hotel year after year. There is no doubt a crazy amount of damage done by some of the bros who attend our school. Cough—jocks—cough.

  My attention wavers and I notice they decked the whole place out for the holidays. A giant tree sits off to the side by a winding staircase. Garland wraps around the banister and pretty much every other surface, sparkling with glittery red poinsettias. Artificial pine scent fills the air, which is funny because we could just step outside and take a whiff.

  They didn’t skimp on the holiday cheer.

  Cole’s newly returned phone goes off in his pocket, and when he pulls it out to read the message, we both burst out laughing.

  “Told you, Eva would threaten to remove a vital part of your body if you woke her.” I whip out my phone, and sure enough, there is the same warning in the group chat we’ve had going since freshman year when we got our own cell phones.

  “You’re right. She is meaner than you in the morning.”

  “How have you forgotten that after all these years?”

  Cole opens his mouth to say something but is interrupted as King Douche wraps an arm around his shoulders. “What’s up, roomie?”

  Cole’s eyes widen for half a second before he smiles and snags the key card from Ian’s free hand. “Awesome.”

  Ian’s blue eyes flash to mine, and his smile widens. “I heard they’ve made you a nice bed on Cole’s lap. They thought you’d be more comfortable there since you’re always on that jock.”

  Ian’s never believed Cole and I are just friends. Ever since he was thrust into my life freshman year, he’s made comments about Cole and me hooking up. To be fair, he’s not far off. I do wish Cole and I were more than friends, but those details don’t need to be public knowledge.

  I clench my teeth so hard I hear the audible click. Cole’s whole body tenses, but once again, he does nothing to stop the vile words pointed my way.

  This, this right here, is another reason anything besides friendship would never work between us. How would I react if my boyfriend didn’t stand up for me?

  I snatch my bag off Cole’s shoulder as I turn toward the reception counter, but Cole’s loud voice stops me dead in my tracks.

  “Dude, don’t talk to her like that.”

  I spin around. The boys are no longer in a bro hug. Cole crosses his arms against his muscular chest and is trying his best to appear stern. If I weren’t so mad, I might laugh because stern Cole is something I never thought I’d witness.

  “Come on, Reed. I’m just messing with her.”

  “Well, she clearly doesn’t appreciate your type of humor. So back off.”

  “Whoa. Calm down.” Ian holds his hands up in surrender. “Sam and I are cool.”

  Cole shakes his head and wraps his long fingers around my forearm. “Well, if you’re so cool, then you should know she doesn’t like being called Sam.” With that, Cole steers me toward the front desk, his grip a bit too tight.

  I don’t remember walking the rest of the way, but all of a sudden, a lady with a severe bun is asking for my name. I swear I stand there for a couple of seconds too long, simply blinking as I replay what just happened, trying to figure out if I imagined it.

  “Samantha Phillips,” Cole answers for me with a puzzled expression when I still can’t find my words.

  The woman forces a smile, annoyed with the number of teens filling the room. “Phillips. Room 216.”

  “D-do you know who I’m rooming with?” Well, at least I got some words out.


  The lady stares at me in a blank, bordering on annoyed way so I take my key card and step away from the desk.

  “Guess I’ll find out when I get up there,” I mumble as Cole, and I move to the side. “Did I imagine everything that just happened?”

  Cole smiles and once again relieves me of my bag. “Nope. See, I’m not always Mr. Good Guy.”

  “Well then, guess I’m not always Miss Boring Bookworm. Let’s drop off our bags and hit the slopes.”

  The slow smiles that lights up Cole’s face is almost enough to knock all the breath from my lungs.

  Ugh. This is bad.

  Why couldn’t he have remained the pimple-faced, four-eyed cootie monster I grew up with?

  Two hours into Cole trying to show me how to slide down a simple slope, I feel as if I’ve been run over by a truck. Every time I stand up, I want to scream from the pain in my ankles and tailbone. So I take it back. Being run over by a truck might feel better than this.

  As it turns out, my coaching isn’t planned until later this afternoon, but Cole couldn’t wait to force me out on to the snow, saying a warm-up would help before my lesson. So far, it’s been a disaster. And that’s not to say he’s a lousy teacher because as far as I can tell, he’s tried to explain it seven different ways and has the patience of a saint. The only problem is my brain and my body aren’t always on the same wavelength.

  Cole flops down in the snow next to me. “We’re getting closer.”

  “To my death?” I wipe powder off my pants and crane my neck, watching the tiny specs that are the rest of my classmates having fun going down the mountain.

  I’ve got to be the only person in Utah who can’t ski at this age.

  “Are you saying you’re ready for a cocoa break?”

  “Cocoa?” I snort. “More like the strongest coffee they make, followed by an afternoon by the fireplace. Face it. I’m not cut out for this.”

  Cole pushes his beanie back, revealing a bit of his dark curly hair. “I swear it wasn’t this hard to explain to my little brother.”

  “Well, he has more coordination than a newborn calf. Right here is why people pick me last in gym. I’m all uncoordinated legs and flailing arms.” I add a limp noodle arm wiggle to emphasize my point across.

  Together we laugh, gazing up at the overcast sky. This isn’t the best place to be taking a break, but I’m not sure my legs will even work to carry me to the lodge.

  Cole angles his head toward me, and from the corner of my eye, I watch as he takes a quiet moment to stare. The now lively butterflies in my gut go bananas in response. Moments like this are what make me read way too much into things. They make me want things I’ll never have.

  When I can’t take it anymore and am seconds away from a whole-body blush, I turn my face toward his. He doesn’t avert his gaze like a normal person would when caught staring. He simply smiles.

  “Can I help you?” I ask, to break the one-sided awkwardness.

  “You look adorable in the hat my nanna knitted you last Christmas.”

  My fingers find the neon pink puffball on top of the hat. It’s not my style, but how could I not love it when Nanna Reed spent hours making it for me? To be honest, it’s one of the best presents I’ve gotten in a while. There’s something special about handmade gifts.

  “Too bad she didn’t knit you one to match. Pink might be your color.”

  “If anyone could pull it off, I could.” Cole grins, and we both fall silent.

  I’ve never found a silent period between us awkward, but right now, I shouldn’t be alone with my thoughts. Not with the way his flushed cheeks make his whole face light up. Or the way I’m almost positive he can see right into my head and read all the nonplatonic thoughts floating around in there.

  “We should get up before someone runs us over.”

  Cole tilts his head up, peering off toward the top of the mountain. “Pretty sure you’re the only person over the age of twelve who doesn’t know how to ski.”

  “Thanks for that.” I push up, wincing when every joint aches. “On that note, I’m going to go claim a spot by the fire and never leave again.”

  Cole jumps up and offers me a hand. Every part of me wants to ignore it because I swear when we touch it’s as if someone lit off a Fourth of July amount of fireworks in my limbs, but I’ll fall flat on my face—again—if I don’t.

  Thankfully my gloves give me some protection, so I let him haul me up and don’t fight him when he pulls me close and helps me shuffle toward the lodge.

  When we’re almost to the sidewalk, he bends down and unclips my skis. “Do you mind if I take a few trips down the mountain?” He hands the two devil’s contraptions to me and takes a wide step backward.

  I want to say no out of pure selfishness, but he’s spent so long trying to coach me. He’s been itching to put his skills to good use all morning. “No, of course not. Go have fun!”

  He surprises me by pulling me in for a hug, and I almost drop my skis when I try to hug him back. “You’re awesome. Let’s meet for lunch, okay?”

  I smile when he releases me. “Sure. I’ll just be hanging out with my book boyfriends. Come find me when you’re ready.”

  He pulls down his goggles, obscuring his eyes. “Promise me you’ll see the instructor.”

  Fat chance. “Of course. By this time tomorrow, you’ll have to bust your butt to catch me.”

  Without another word, he’s off, racing to get some time on the mountain before it gets too busy. I kind of feel bad lying to him, especially when I’ve planned on canceling the instructor since the twentieth time I fell. Then again, he should know me better by now.

  I gaze up at the mountain, marveling at how beautiful it looks when the breakthrough sunlight hits it. Like a giant glittering diamond. Thank goodness the lodge has a fantastic view from the safety and warmth of the lounge.

  Right next to the fireplace is where he finds me hours later with Ian by his side. He never made it for lunch, and I never made it to my lesson. I wish either of those things surprised me but I guess old habits die hard.

  “I’m amazed you’re up so early.”

  I glance up from the book I’m reading and almost spit out my coffee. Cole is standing there in his flannel pajamas with his curly hair a frizzy mop. He’s also sporting his thick black-rimmed glasses I swear he hasn’t worn in public since freshman year when he switched to contacts.

  “Yeah, well, I’m rooming with Lucy Shore. She snores.” I gesture toward him. “You don’t appear to have fared better than me.”

  His gaze falls downward, and I watch, trying not to giggle, as realization dawns on his face. The number one eligible bachelor of Jordan High is in the lounge wearing the most unflattering outfit. I expect him to rush upstairs and change before anyone sees him. Instead, he plops down on the chair next to me and steals the coffee from my hand.

  “Ian doesn’t understand the meaning of the words mellow out.”

  “Aw, poor baby had to put up with the bumbling jock all night. At least your roommate talks to you.”

  The hand holding my coffee pauses midway to his mouth. “Lucy didn’t talk to you?”

  “For a minute, I thought I’d died and turned into a ghost. She looked right through me whenever I was around.”

  “Do you want me to—”

  “Please don’t speak with her.” I wave him off. “Like you said, we have five, well, four days. It’ll be fine.” I snag my coffee, letting my Kindle fall on my lap as I reach forward. “How was skiing?”

  His face lights up, and I wish for the hundredth time I held the same amount of enthusiasm for this trip. After soaking in a hot bath and popping two ibuprofens to numb the ache, I can say with certainty I’ll be steering clear of the slopes.

  “Awesome. Sorry I missed lunch, though. I ran into everyone at the top, and a whole race thing started. Lost track of time.”

  I avert my eyes so he can’t see the hurt floating in them. It’s stupid, I expected as much, but still
. After everything he said to Ian yesterday, I hoped something might change. “No big deal. I told you, I have my book boyfriends to keep me company.”

  A group of students shuffle into the room, heading toward the table that has coffee and cocoa. I should have grabbed two cups before everyone else got up.

  “How was your lesson yesterday? You ready to take on the mountain?”

  I try not to cringe and fail miserably. “About that…”

  “You didn’t go, did you?”

  I gesture to the Kindle still on my lap. “Did you not hear book boyfriends? They treat me better than cold snow and bruised tailbones.”

  “So, I’m assuming you didn’t reschedule.” The disappointment in his voice is clear, and I almost feel bad until I realize I would have had to spend an entire afternoon with the meatheads from school.

  “Nope.” I pop the P and reach for my Kindle, but Cole gets there first, knowing I had every intention of ignoring him and this conversation until he leaves.

  “What’s so important you couldn’t be bothered to learn how to ski?” He unlocks the device, angling the screen toward him. I hate myself for how well he knows me that he could guess my password without blinking. I’ve changed the dang thing at least five times, and he always guesses it.

  I also want to die of embarrassment because I was in the middle of a steamy kiss. The first kiss the two characters in the book have shared, to be exact. Those are always the best ones in my experience.

  Cole’s gaze flicks to mine for half a beat before focusing on the book. I know he’s reading the passage because I can see his eyes track the words and I sit here in mortification as his mouth drops open into a shocked O.

  “That’s, um…” He scratches the back of his neck and focuses on the carpet.

  I snatch the Kindle away from him, tucking it under my butt so he doesn’t get any more ideas. The last thing I need is for Ian or someone else to stroll by and turn me out to the crowd as a pathetic sack who reads about relationships because no one has ever been interested in dating me. That’s not the reason I read them, but I’m sure Ian could twist it to look that way.