Melt My Heart Read online

  “That’s two questions.” I lean over the table to take my next shot. There’s an easy one too, but now I think diving into the snow in my underwear would be more comfortable than this.

  Screw it.

  I land the shot, but when Ian laughs, I regret it.

  “Whatever. Ask your question,” I say as I stand. All of a sudden, it’s sweltering in here. I unravel the gray wool scarf my grandmother made for me and toss it on a nearby chair.

  “What’s one thing—”

  “Ohh, I got one,” Bre jumps in. “If you could eat anything and not get fat, what would it be?”

  Hallelujah. Saved by a girl. She’s my new favorite person.

  “Cupcakes,” Cole answers behind me. I whirl around to glare at him. “Oh yeah, I’ve noticed the way you give them longing, lingering stares when we pass by Sugar Fix.”

  “They’re amazing,” I whine.

  Bre nods a bit too enthusiastically, making me wonder when was the last time she indulged. Judging by her muscular frame, it’s been a while.

  “Awesome. Cupcakes.” Ian deadpans. “Take your next shot, Sam.”

  I do, missing by a long shot. On purpose, but now it’s my turn to have fun with Mr. Cocky.

  He struts over to the table as if he owns the place then sends Bre a gag-worthy wink before hitting two of their balls into the pockets.

  “Maybe I’m not the only shark here,” I mumble, but then I perk up because two balls equals two questions. “Have you ever gone a day without being a total A-hole?”

  “Sammy, chill,” Cole says from behind me.

  Forever the peacekeeper.

  “No, it’s okay.” Ian leans on the pool stick, bringing his face close to mine. “I wasn’t aware that I was one.”

  “Okay,” I scoff. There’s no point pushing it. Guys like Ian can’t see past their own ego. “Have you ever lied to a girl to make her fall for you?”

  Bre raises her eyebrows, interested in this question. It’s a low blow because I’ve heard and tried to ignore the rumors that Ian will say just about anything to get what he wants from a girl. Bre is clearly his latest conquest, but she should know the type of guy he is.

  “I don’t have to lie. Girls see the jersey and the various trophies—not to mention this face—and come running.”

  “So, you’ve never told a girl you were single when you had a girlfriend?” Another strike below the belt. Everyone at school has heard about what went down with him and his freshman girlfriend.

  It was the last girlfriend he ever had.

  Ian’s jaw ticks, confirming I’ve struck a nerve. Said girlfriend ended up moving the summer between freshman and sophomore years. When she said she never wanted to see his face again, she meant it.

  “Back off, Sammy,” Cole whispers in my ear, his warm breath sending a shiver of pleasure down my spine. I was so busy staring down Ian, I didn’t notice him approach.

  Ian shakes his head, releasing me from our staring contest. I must have frazzled him because he misses. Or he didn’t want to be in my line of fire again.

  Cole is up next, and I can see his nerves in the tense set to his shoulders. What he has to be nervous about, I have no clue. Ian is his friend. It’s not as if he’ll go out of his way to embarrass him. He saves that for me.

  Even being a bit shaken up, Cole gets a ball in. When he stands up, his lips are pulled into a thin line, and he’s glaring at Ian. I sense a warning in that look. It’s one I’m familiar with.

  Interesting. This weekend is bringing out a whole new side of Cole.

  Ian’s enthusiasm has waned since my attack, but he still smiles. “All right, Reed. Have you ever had a crush on someone who you considered off-limits?”

  The color drains out of Cole’s face. Even from across the pool table, I can see his throat work up and down as he swallows several times. He’s still glaring at Ian, who’s eating it up, judging from the evil glint in his eye.

  Cole opens his mouth, but nothing comes out.

  What a weird reaction to a simple question.

  After a few minutes where he says nothing, he nods. It’s a quick dip of his chin, but it’s all the confirmation I need. I’ll never have a shot with Cole. He’s harboring feelings for someone he can’t have. I know all too well how that can screw up any attempts at a relationship with someone else.

  He rushes to miss his next shot then moves to the other side of the room, keeping his attention locked on the floor.

  I get zero time to read into his reaction, though, because Bre misses, and I’m up again.

  Part of me wants to miss too so I can put Ian in the hot seat again, and so I can stay out of it. By the way he’s smirking, I have a feeling whatever he asks will be over the line.

  I don’t miss, though. Call it competitive nature or being fed up with the jerk who lives to torment me, but I won’t give him the satisfaction of thinking he has me running scared.

  Guys like him thrive off stuff like that.

  He doesn’t miss a beat. “Same question as Cole. Have you ever had a crush on someone off-limits? Say a friend?”

  My mouth opens and all that comes out is a weird squeaky noise. The moment my stupid eyes flit to Cole, standing next to the window, staring at me with an unreadable expression my stomach drops. Freaking Cole, who I’m positive can see the answer written all over my face by the way his hands clench around the pool stick so tight his knuckles turn a scary shade of white.

  Does Ian know about my feelings too? Am I so obvious that everyone has a hearty laugh behind my back about how pathetic I am?

  “This is stupid.” I toss the pool stick down on the green felt. “And juvenile.”

  “That’s a yes,” Ian mock-whispers to Bre.

  Heat rushes up my neck and into my cheeks. I need to get out of here before I say something stupid that not only embarrasses me but ruins my friendship with Cole.

  “No, it’s a ‘this is dumb and I have better plans than this.’” I shoulder past Ian, knocking him into Bre as I rush for the exit.

  I’m such an idiot. For once, I thought Ian was trying to do something good. Nope. Just another attempt at trying to embarrass me. And I hate that it worked. I hate that I can’t shake these stupid feelings no matter how hard I try.

  I hate that I even sound pathetic in my own head.

  That’s it.

  I’m going on a date with Hudson, and at the end of the night, I’m going to let him kiss me so hard all thoughts of Cole not friendship-related will fly right out of my head.

  As I’m rushing down the hall toward the lobby, I hear the door behind me creak open. Footsteps follow, but I don’t turn around. Whoever it is, I don’t want to talk to. Although deep down, I know who it is.

  Salt in the freaking wound.

  If he asks me about who my secret crush is, I will throw myself off the mountain. I swear, I will.

  “Sammy,” Cole calls, seconds before his hand latches on to my wrist, tugging me to a stop.

  “I have someplace to be,” I say to the ugly brown carpet.

  “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.” He lets go of me. From the corner of my eye I can see him slump against the wall. “I heard some stuff and I… He’s not a good guy.”

  “Who’s not a good guy?” For all of a nanosecond I’m confused, but then it dawns on me. Hudson. Jeez, what is his problem with him? “Look, I’m not interested in stupid rumors. If I listened to every one flying around, then I would have a whole different outlook about the people I hang out with. Eva would be some rock groupie tramp, and you would have dated the whole school.”

  When he doesn’t respond, I glance up and into his tortured face. Nothing about it screams bad intentions. In fact, he appears sincere. “I’m just watching out for you,” he whispers and pushes off the wall, bringing us chest to chest. “He doesn’t deserve you.”

  My whole body vibrates with the need to wrap my arms around his shoulders and tug his lips to mine. But I stomp it down and force out my next
words. “Who does then?”

  When he reaches out and tucks a lock of hair behind my ear I almost combust. His fingers leave a trail of fire where they touch my jaw, reminding me that my brain and heart will always lose when it comes to him.

  But I can’t do this anymore.

  I can’t take the heartache.

  “I-I gotta go.”

  Cole’s brows draw together. “Stay. Hang out with me tonight. Just the two of us.”

  Just the two of us is the last thing I need right now. If I don’t get some space, I’m going to do something really stupid.

  Kiss him.

  “I can’t.”

  His arm drops to his side. “You’re going even though I’m telling you he’s a bad guy?”

  “You don’t know him.”

  “Neither do you!” he yells and steps backward, dragging a hand through his messy curls.

  My heart jumps into my throat from the sudden force of his anger. Where is my funny, easygoing best friend? When I wished he would take a stand and stop playing Mr. Nice Guy, I didn’t mean for him to turn into the Hulk.

  “I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

  He lets out a derisive snort. “Don’t bother.” Shaking his head, he turns and heads back toward the billiard room. The door hits the frame so hard it vibrates my feet.

  With tears welling in the corners of my eyes, I rush the rest of the way down the hall, praying that by the time I meet Hudson in the lobby, my face isn’t a red, puffy mess.

  The whole time I can’t help but wonder if this is a mistake. The choice I made just now will change Cole’s and my relationship forever. But maybe it needed to change. Unrequited love can’t be suppressed forever. I can’t bear another day of knowing my heart is on the verge of splitting in two.

  Hudson borrowed Mac’s cherry-red Mustang to drive us into town. A sports car isn’t the most practical winter car. I spend most of the drive clutching the handle over the door and praying we don’t crash on one of the turns.

  By the time we reach the town at the base of the mountains, I’m so tense from a mixture of fighting with Cole and the hellish drive I’m no longer hungry. In fact, my muscles might tear from my bones from the way I am clenching them. So, I tell Hudson to choose where he wants to eat. And here we sit in a crowded burger chain as he wolfs down an impressive amount of food.

  “So, where do you plan on going to college?” Hudson asks between bites of his burger.

  I tear off a piece of the brown napkin I’ve been playing with for ten minutes and toss it to the side. “U of U was always the plan, but I think getting out of Utah for a change might be nice.”

  Not a lie either. Since I was five, we’ve lived in the same house. I’ve gone to school with the same group of kids. Cole and Eva have always been by my side. Might be time to branch out.

  Who knows, maybe I’ll find another guy friend to fall for just to torture myself more.

  “I’ve always seen myself in New York. I visited my brother at Columbia last fall. He throws amazing ragers.”

  “Oh. I’m not much of a partyer.”

  “You’re missing out.” His free hand drops under the table. I jump so hard I smack my elbow on the windowsill when it caresses my knee. “Some alcohol might do you good.”

  I sit up straight, tucking my legs under my butt on the ripped vinyl seat and out of his reach. “So, any big plans for Christmas?” I ask, changing the topic.

  Cole did this. He got in my head. Now I’m reading into everything Hudson says and does. All he did was touch my knee. He’s touched me several times over the past few days, and it’s never bothered me before.

  “My family is low-key. Dinner. Presents Christmas Eve. Christmas Day, we spread out all over the house, ignoring each other.” He shrugs, reaching for his soda. “It’s nice.”

  That’s his idea of nice?

  I can’t imagine a Christmas without all the family togetherness. By the time I turned seven, it became a tradition too for Eva’s and Cole’s families to come over for a huge dinner on Christmas Eve. Heck, it’s not the holiday season without Mrs. Abernathy’s cranberry bliss bars. She always sneaks me a few that I hide in the pantry so I can savor them in peace.

  “Sounds…festive.” I tear off a another piece of the napkin and flick it across the table, aiming for Hudson’s cup of water.

  My phone vibrates on the table with a text from Eva. As I stare at it, my attention catches on the time. Nine. How has it only been an hour? This is the most awkward date of my life. What happened to the cool groove we were in the first day?

  “You want to get out of here?” Hudson asks, tossing used napkins on the wrappers piled on top of the cherry-red tray.

  “Yeah. Sure.” Yes, please. Put me out of my misery.

  “Wanna catch a movie?”

  I pull a face. “Curfew is ten. Technically I shouldn’t have left the lodge.” Okay, so only part of my statement is true. There is no curfew, but I’m not running around all night. My parents would for sure kill me.

  “You can come watch a movie in my room. Another bonus of planning ahead and not bunking with those two morons.” His eyebrows bounce suggestively.

  “Oh. Uh. They do bed checks, so not the best idea.” Lie again. But I’m hoping he doesn’t know better. The prospect of us alone in a room together has my nerves working overtime.

  “So…we head back?” There’s a noticeable dip in his normally friendly tone.

  Not that I blame him. Over the course of a few days, I’ve run from a kiss, had a best friend try to pick a fight, and now I’m cutting our date super short.

  Something is wrong in my head because any other girl would kill to be on a date with a hot, interesting guy.

  “Yeah, I guess that’s the only option. If I’m caught breaking the rules, I’ll get banned from the rest of the senior activities.” Not a lie. Mr. Holt was explicit about that last week.

  “Sure. Senior events are totally important. Wouldn’t want you to look back when you’re old and regret skipping a pep rally.” Sarcasm laces every word, and as I sit there gawking at him, I see traces of what Cole was talking about.

  He doesn’t wait for me to gather my things before leaving the building. By the time I get outside, he’s in his car with it idling. He doesn’t spare me a glance as he pulls out on to the main road, leading to the lodge.

  I sit there for a couple of miles, pulling at the loose strands on my woven gloves, trying to come up with something to say. I’m terrible in these situations. In fact, the only person I ever have the guts to stand up to is Ian. But that might have something to do with the fiery rage filling every nerve in my body whatever I see his face.

  Rage beats timidness any day.

  After a few more minutes, though, Hudson breaks the silence for me. “Sorry. I was a bit of a jerk back there.” When I nod, he continues, “It’s just, I finally got you to myself, and now we have to call it a night.” He reaches over the center console and grabs my fidgeting hands. “I really like you.”

  That’s nice are the first words that pop into my head because I’m not sure how I feel about him—us—anymore. Those aren’t the best words to say to someone after a failed date though, so I go with what I know will appease him. “I like you too. How about when all this is over and we’re back in town, we hang out. Without any of my annoying classmates hanging around.”

  “Yeah.” He clears his throat and removes his hand from mine, clutching the steering wheel instead.

  Those are the last things we say to each other for the rest of the drive. In a way, I’m glad. As it turns out, professing that he likes me is far more awkward than silence.

  If I could turn back time and avoid him running into Cole and me going to meet Ian, I totally would. Somehow, I think those two events led me to this weird place where I’ve forgotten how to act when on a date. They threw me for a loop, and now I’m the weird girl Hudson will tell people about after this is all over.

  That thought should bother me—would bot
her me normally—but it doesn’t. So, I guess I am, in fact, a weirdo.

  The second Hudson pulls into the underground garage and shuts off the car, I hop out, not waiting for him to reach for his door. Tonight needs to end so I’m a day closer to heading home.

  “Hey. Wait up.” Hudson catches up to me when I reach the elevator. “You still have time before curfew. Let’s grab some cocoa.” He slides his glove-covered hand into mine and tugs me into the elevator when the doors slide open.

  Part of me wants to object because tonight has been a disaster, but another part of me is determined to make this work. I don’t have too many opportunities to date at school since most of the guys avoid me like the freaking plague. So, even if this is going nowhere, I feel obligated to see it through.

  I can’t graduate the dateless loser I’ve been the past four years. I can do this. I can turn the night around. All I have to do is think of it like an equation. Cute guy plus awkward me can work as long as I get out of my head.

  So, that’s what I do.

  When he pulls me close, I lean into it, resting my chin on his shoulder. “One cup. And if you’re lucky, I’ll let you walk me to my room.”

  He chuckles, brushing hair off my forehead. “Lucky would be an understatement.” His gaze dips to my lips, and I can read his intentions before he makes a move. My stomach dips when his breath hits my lips. This time I don’t run, but seconds before he reaches his goal, the doors slide open, and I jump away from him.

  “We have the worst timing,” he says and once again grabs my hand, leading me out into the lobby where a few students linger on couches.

  I’m sure everyone is with Ian by now wherever he’s decided to party hardy tonight. How they sneak out right under our chaperones’ noses is beyond me. That’s some sluthy thinking I can’t even wrap my head around.

  I just hope Lucy gets lost on the way to our room tonight. A full eight hours of sleep sounds like a lottery win at this point.

  Hudson lets go of my hand when we reach the table in the lounge. This time of night all that’s left are a few cups and two of those big thermos things with cocoa and coffee.